lately, eli and i have been working on his "faith in god" program. one of the goals was to learn about being polite and having manners and to use them. when eli was a little boy we gave him a book called "how to behave and why". it was written in the 1940's. the instruction and advice is plain and simple. we love this book. it was the perfect re-read for this assignment.
enjoy.
"How to Behave and Why"
This is really a book about how to have the most fun in living, and it doesn't matter whether you are a boy or a girl, a man or a woman --- the rules are all the same.
How old we are isn't what counts. The two biggest questions to ask ourselves in life, at any age, are: Are most of the people I know glad that I am here?
Am I glad that I am here, myself?
Anyone who can honestly answer "YES" to those two questions most of the time has learned to BEHAVE in this world and to live a happy life.
It doesn't matter whether you are a Chinese grandfather, an Eskimo mother or an American boy or girl going to school -- You still have to get along well with other people and have most of them like you, if you want to be happy.
Ever since the days when men stopped living in caves, the good and decent people of the world have found out that there are certain ways we all have to behave if we want to live together pleasantly.
The good ways, or the good rules for behaving, have lasted a long time -- so they must have something.
No matter where you are or who you are, there are four main things that you have to do if you want to make good friends and keep them.
1. You have to be HONEST
2. You have to be FAIR
3. You have to be STRONG
4. You have to be WISE
And there is no good in trying to fool yourself. All that isn't so easy.
HONEST. FAIR. STRONG. WISE. Those are the four things you have to be SO let's take them apart slowly and find out WHY?
HONEST people tell the truth. Other people know that when they say something is so, they can believe it. Now that is very handy, because if you are honest and promise to do something, others will trust you. They will share things with you, tell you secrets, lend you money, and help you do many of the things you want to do -- because they know that what you promise and what you say is true. They can count on it.
Only a dope will tell a lie. One of the quickest ways to lose your friends and to make people dislike you is to lie.
Some people think they can be smart and fool others when they tell a lie -- but sooner or later the truth usually is found out and then the liar is sorry because he knows he won't be trusted or believed the next time.
Nobody knows what to do with a person who doesn't tell the truth. How can you believe a word they say? Even if they do tell the truth part of the time, how can you know which times they mean it and which times they don't? No -- we can't say that just one little lie doesn't count. It counts every time and people can't really know us and like us unless they can believe what we say.
Every time we tell a lie we mix ourselves up more. After a while almost no one will believe us, but worse that that -- We can't believe ourselves or anyone else, because we don't really know what the truth is any more than a penguin and that is a stupid way to live. As anyone can tell you.
Stealing is something honest people don't do. Taking things that don't belong to you is a sure way to get into trouble and be unhappy. Good people can't let bad people take things from others secretly or by force. If they did the world would be a miserable place for everyone. Nothing we own would be safe. Grownups who steal are put in jail in almost every country -- and that is one way a person loses all his friends for a long long time.
There is another way to make people dislike you that is half like lying and half like stealing -- and it's just as bad as either of them. That is CHEATING. In playing games, working at school, trading things or buying and selling the person who cheats will make enemies of those he cheats and other people won't like or trust him. Nothing we get by cheating is worth what we lose with our friends.
We have spelled out HONEST and all we have to do now is to remember that being HONEST is probably the most important rule of living a happy life. In a way everything else we do depends on it. If we aren't honest, we really aren't ourselves to others, and if we aren't ourselves we certainly can't make friends and be happy.
You have to F A I R.
Friendly people find it easy to be FAIR. Being friendly and being fair both come from believe that other people have just as much right to be alive and happy as we have.
The man or woman or boy or girl who goes around gloomy, with a sour face and is afraid that everybody else is going to make him or her unhappy has a very hard time making friends. There are a lot of nice people everywhere and the sooner we meet each other, the better the world will be for all of us.
Anywhere you go with a smile and a wish to like people, you will find someone who will be glad to see you.
From Africa to the Arctic Circle this is so. People everywhere are like yourself in many ways and most of them want to share happiness and the good things of life with others if you will do the same. SO -- Get up in the morning wherever you are and go to school or play or work or parties or new places glad to meet new people and make old friends of them.
In your own home is a good place to begin every day by being fair. Our mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers make wonderful friends, if we treat them fairly and do our share to make home a happy place for everyone there.
Helping to keep it neat and clean. Sharing the work that has to be done. Being quiet when others need peace. And giving others just as much right as you have to enjoy themselves with or without you -- There are all ways of being Fair and ways to make people glad you live with them from the time you wake in the morning until you pleasantly, cheerfully go to bed.
Remember the secret of fairness is sharing. Selfish people who won't share with others find themselves left alone and unhappy no matter what they own that could be fun.
Look out for that person who pretends to be your friend but doesn't want you to like anyone else. That isn't a friend -- it is a selfish person who is trying to own you and hasn't learned to share to be happy. Poor sports who can't lose games without squawking or won't take turns are not FAIR and neither is that lazy lump who never shares the work that has to be done by someone.
We know now what it means to be FAIR and we will learn all through life that the friendly person is a happy person most of the time.
You have to be S T R O N G
Some people think that being strong is just a matter of having muscles like a gorilla. But they are wrong. That alone never made anybody happy. Real strength comes from having a clean, healthy mind and a clean, healthy body. Think it out for yourself. All the power of sixty gorillas won't do you any good if you use it stupidly, and if you don't stay healthy you might as well be a run down mouse.
Any brave man or woman can tell you that having a clean healthy mind comes from taking the time to think what is right and then doing it no matter how scared you are or when it would be easier to do wrong or even if somebody else tries to talk you into it.
Regular habits are the answer to the question: How can we grow from a weak baby to a strong and healthy man or woman?
Eating the right food when we should. Keeping clean. Playing and exercising. Sitting and standing and getting the right amount of sleep and rest are HOW TO GROW WELL AND STRONG.
Of course you can argue with people who know better than you, but it's stupid. Doctors and scientists study and learn what is the best way to keep ourselves healthy. Our fathers and mothers learn from them and they tell us. They know a lot more than we do, and if we are bright, we do what they tell us to.
Now is the best time to start doing what you are told to do for your own good health. You can ask your parents to tell you WHY they want you to obey, BUT don't nag and whine and grumble and cry every time you just don't want to do what is right.
Grown ups aren't some kind of weird monsters that have fun making us do things we don't want to do. They just know a whole lot more than we do because they have been here longer. Listen to what they tell you and you will be surprised how right they usually are.
We all are different in many ways, but we are all alike in many ways too. If we are HONEST and FAIR and STRONG we won't find it hard to be wise.
You have to be W I S E.
We get along with people and we make good friends when we have polite manners like:
*Shaking hands when we meet.
*Smiling and saying "good morning" or "good afternoon".
*Saying "goodbye" when we leave and thanking people when they have been nice to us.
*Saying "please" when we want something and "excuse me" or "i beg your pardon" when we bump into someone, or belch or yawn or cough or sneeze. {And when we yawn or cough we cover our mouths.}
*Waiting for other people to finish talking before we start.
*Letting ladies and girls be "first."
*Helping very old and very young people as much as we can, and being quiet and gentle when we are with them.
*Eating quietly without sprawling and grabbing or quarreling at the table. Asking to be excused when we are finished eating and are ready to leave.
*Being quiet and orderly when we go to places where there are a lot of other people -- like libraries, movies or museums, theatres or classrooms, or in trains, street cars or busses.
*By never acting as though we were the only people in the world who counted, and never acting fresh and showing off to make people believe that we think we are better than they are.
"I can't always be right no matter who I am" is a good thing for all of us to remember.
Other people have ideas and thoughts, ways of doing things, ways to work, ways to play, ways they think of God and their country and their race. Their way can be just as right as your way. Remember that, and be glad you have a change to choose the best of all ways.
Sailing together in a boat is a lot like learning to live with other people and be happy.
We learn to obey and after a while we learn to command and help to make the world a better place for all of us.
End of the book is what this is, and if YOU learned to be HONEST, FAIR, STRONG, WISE, then you have learned to HOW TO BEHAVE -- AND WHY.
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