so, i was looking through my iphoto and came across this picture i scanned of eli at probably 5 months old. it was just before we moved from south pasadena and he was small and rolly and so perfect. i am starting the drugs again on saturday to start our process of transferring 2 of the embryos that we have frozen. i have to admit, i am nervous and wierded out a little, kind of sentimentally sad, and excited. just alot of feelings, excited, because i am pretty sure it will work, and it won't be the 3 of us anymore, and sad because it won't be the 3 of us anymore?... do you know what i mean? it is just like before eli was born there was a strange transition of feeling like it wasn't just the 2 of us anymore. maybe it is because it was just us for so long together, and now it has been just the 3 of us for 4 1/2 years, it just will be another transition, a happy one, a little sad to see that little era leave, i always get emotional about seeing things pass away... it is just wierd.
this picture just reminds me of how much i love eli, how much he has enriched my life, how much i love someone and care for someone more than anything in the world, he is special, he is happy, he is a real blessing to me.
so, this time next month, we will do the transfer, and 2 weeks later, we will know what direction our lives will be taking. it is kind of wierd planning things this way, i think that is what is making me think alot about things lately. hard to describe..
enjoy the pic.
8 comments:
What a cutie!! I'm like you in that transition always brings with it a mixture of emotions. Thanks for sharing your feelings!! You put so eloquently into words feelings we all have had at one time or another! You'll be in my prayers!
Jess thing work out for differant reasons, good or bad. This will be an exciting one though, And when another little one comes into your life it wont be weird, it will be so natural, like that baby has been here all along! And the best thing is, is that you love it just as much as your first is it a heavenly moment. Good luck with everything I'm just down the road if ya need me. love ya.
What a cute picture of E. This is an exciting and scary time for you guys and for all of us as well I think (not as much as you obviously). We hope everything goes well. You'll be in ours prayers.
Love Sandra
i love the pic of eli! he's such a sweet boy. good luck with everything. you'll be in our prayers. love ya!
Hey Jess I am so excited for you guys. This next month of so will probably be stressful for you guys, but remember everyone is praying for you guys! Love you!!
SS
I remember being 8 months pregnant and doing laundry and feeling so sad when i started folding Sophie's clothes, like soon her clothes weren't the only one'd be doing anymore. random and more sentimental than sad, but just remembering good times. But then onto more good times. I'm really happy for you. Ohhh. i'd better send off your dwell items or the babies will come before it gets to you.
I love the pic of E. I remember his little rolls around his arms like his hands were screwed on. I also remember when we found out the Eli was on the way. We were all standing on the curb at the South Pas. apartment crying and hugging. I know that everything will work out as it is suspost to. We are excited to continue the fun times no matter what happens! We're all praying for you guys!
Jess, cute picture of Eli. I too have gone through those feelings. I think it was the worst when Brooklynn was born, it made me sad that Tyler got to have all this time with just us and she never would in the same way. Okay I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm with you and I hope and pray everything goes well!!!
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