band practice

tony and family are in town. cj and tony played this morning in our basement, lots of fun!

sick

oh, i might as well post something...

not much going on around here. eli went back to kodaly on monday after missing 2 weeks, i could tell he really enjoyed himself and he sang like crazy. he can now recognize quarter notes and eighth notes and sings them with a "ta" or a "ti". it is so cute.

both he and i have been brewing up a wicked chest cold, sore throat and headache for the past few days. we have been watching movies all day not doing much. if i have to watch Robots, Chicken Little and (a really lamely animated) Stuart Little 3 again, i might just call it quits.

i rarely catch what is going around, especially when eli gets something, usually cj will get it, maybe i have mother immunity, but this time it is a double whammy so cj better cross his fingers that he doesn't get what we have, cause it is nasty.
on that note, i am going to lay back down.

feeling good

YAHOO!!! today is the day! i am finally feeling good, i am not sore, bloated, tender, mental, tired, (the list goes on). i am on my way to a better me! ha ha!

cj came and picked eli and i up at mum and dads last night to bring us home from our week long sleep over (thanks mum). we had a really nice time, great meals, and companionship while i was feeling down and out. it was nice to get home and get back in the swing of things. when we came in we thought something smelled kind of musty, hmmm, maybe just a stuffy house. cj came upstairs and said he found a toilet with some very old pee in it that may be the culprit, ok, i bought it. this morning, i got up early and went for a walk (the weather is breaking and it was SO nice out today) and when i came back in i walked over to the pantry and discovered the source. 1 very moldy loaf of bread, 1 even moldier bag of tray buns not to mention the garbage that had sat there for a week (note to self, remember to take the trash out when leaving the house for an extended period of time...) well, i was so ill and out of it last week i must have totally forgot. needless to say, it got packaged up and thrown out.

cj needed eli for a photo shoot yesterday, so mum, eli and i went down to the studio, i am including some outakes from that. any shot eli isn't in, he took. he really had fun doing it and so did we!

today i booked flights for our 10th anniversary in june. we have decided to go to oahu. cj has never been to hawaii and it will just be warm and relaxing. we are really looking forward to it. it will be great. we will get home from that trip and a few days later start our thaw out cycle for IVF, so we will be nice and relaxed and ready to jump back into it.

i have included one shot of eli on st. patricks day, he wasn't wearing green, so mum drew a 3 leaf clover on his hand, it was with a sharpie... i still think it is there, ha ha

slowly

i have been here at mums place all weekend while cj has been in LA, it has been really good just not to be alone, and i appreciate all the help mum has been. i am slowly, slowly, slowly starting to feel better. the ultrasound on friday showed a "moderate" amount of blood and free flowing fluid in my abdomen which was making me feel so sick and bloated and making breathing uncomforatble. so they gave me information on hyperstimulation and advised not to do the transfer. they had me stop all the estrogen i was taking and they said that the blood and fluid would start re-absorbing over the next couple of weeks.

so, every morning i feel just a smigin less full, i can actually get some sleep at night and i am not so weak and light-headed. it truely is nasty. i will be so happy when i feel just back to normal and i feel so happy to know that in a couple of months, we can be healthy and give it another try. in my mind i feel like the hard part is over and as i keep feeling better that is confirmed to me.

in 2 months

the clinic called this morning to give me the update and asked how i was feeling, um, i feel super crappy, bloated, weak, referred pain in my shoulder, really full and just plain terrible. almost all the pain associated with the retrieval is gone, like the soreness, etc, but they think i may be hyperstimulating, sooo, here is the scoop.

we have 13 excellent eggs, which means on a scale of 1-4 (1 being perfect and 4 being lousy) we have 13 eggs graded at a 1-2 level (which they said was great). however, because i am feeling so lousy, we will probably not do the transfer tomorrow. they will freeze the eggs and wait 2 months, until i am back to normal and 100% to attempt a transfer. what will happen is they will do a thaw cycle which includes 2 weeks of the suprefact nasal spray, 2 weeks of estrade (an estrogen pill) and then if everything goes well, they will transfer the eggs.

i feel kind of bummed right now, it has been a long serious process, and with the transfer tomorrow, i would feel like it was kind of done, BUT, the way i am feeling right now, transfering them in 2 months time will be the best thing.

sooo, that is pretty much it, i have an appointment at 8:30 tomorrow morning, and i don't think much will change in how i feel between now and then (they say it will take 1-2 weeks to start feeling better). so here's to the freezer and 2 months from now.

update

really quick, i just got off the phone with the clinic, our count is:
13 - fertilized normal
1 - abnormal (they said they won't use this one, obviously)
7 - hadn't fertilized yet, so they were re-fertilizing this morning

they couldn't comment on the QUALITY of the fertilized eggs, they won't know until tomorrow, so our count may go down a bit, we will see.
i start taking prometrium and estride today to jump start my pituitary gland that has been stopped in the process. it will be like cranking an engine, ha ha!

pix

here are some pics from yesterday, from cjs point of view.
the ones of eli are of him showing off his dinosaur feet he made at lisas. all the posing, 100% eli, he is so goofy.
i am also including the mock up of the TIME cover.

21

lucky number 21, yup, today, they took out 21 little eggs. they told us after that about 12 were mature, a few were kind of mature and a few were immature. they told us though not to focus on the number of mature eggs, but they would call us tomorrow with what has fertilized and how many haven't. that i guess is the more important info.

everything went really well today. i took the valium they gave me last night, which helped with the jitters, and this morning i was relatively calm. i went in and they started an IV, on my bad wrist, it didn't flow to well, we kept having to adjust the angle, pull on the tubing etc, to have it actually flow. (i had an IV in there once before and afterward the vein was all lumpy and nasty)
they had me walk into the operating room, gave me some drugs and 20 minutes later it was done, not too painful, just the occasional pinch and pressure.

it has been about 7 hours since they did it, i have slept all afternoon and now i feel a little sore and bloaty, which they said was normal for the next few days.
but, all in all, things went really well and we are pleased with the outcome.

eli has been at dave and lisas all day (thanks a million!) cj was there with me, took a bunch of pictures, and then jetted off to work. i will post some pics later, as i am not at home right now (thanks mom for taking care of me!)

on other fronts, cj found out that a shot that he did for TIME a couple of weeks ago, is going to be the cover on monday, woo-hoo, cover #3. i guess the cover story they were working on stunk, so they shifted gears and went with cjs shot and cover story. it is a head shot of jared mclellan with items floating around his head, looks good.

crossing the finish line

ok, a bit of news.
went to the doctor this morning, and everything is a go for retrieval for tuesday at 10:00am. ya-hooooooooooooooooooooooo! that news was a relief, i feel really full and nasty, so i am glad these follicles/ovaries aren't getting much bigger. i have 2 more shots to take tonight at 11:00 pm (sorry mom) and that is it.
so, we are exicted and happy, ready for tuesday, it looks like they will put the embryos back in on friday and then, pow, 2 weeks from there, we will know if it worked, and that my friends may turn out to be the hardest part of the whole stinking thing.

ivf update

we have an update on things, just got back from the doctors and here is the report: looks like i have added 3 more follicles to each side for a grand total of 16 follicles. wow, that is 6 more than tuesdays count, party over here.

i have another appointment sunday morning, and if all looks good, mum will inject me with my last shot and they will retreive the little suckers on tuesday or wednesday (depending).

cj got another ad job, taking him down to l.a. next week, it is a shot for a japanese cell phone company involving bowling lanes? he will have a good time, doug is going to work with him and they, i am sure, will feel like they are back working at allens in the warehouse, just 2 guys having a good time, having a good time, having a good time....

many thanks to cj for re-booking his flight to be here when things go down. the job is good, the timing is bad, so thanks.
i know it has been hard on him this month, with everything, the daily shots, the nasty nasal spray, feeling bloated, headachey, the soreness, the mental confusion..... but you are going to make it, just a few days left.... :)

speaking of cj, poor guy was up all night working on the attached bad boys, enjoy.

oops, one more

sorry, one more, it just poped into my mailbox!

10

who-ho! had my bloodwork and ultrasound done again this morning. dr. green said i had 5 follicles on the left and 5 on the right that looked pretty good, so, not a lot, but not too many (which was one of our concerns...) we will see how they develop over the next few days. my next appointment is on friday, stay tuned......

eli got back to preschool today, he missed last week and the thursday before (totaling 3 classes). his teachers said he was happy to be back, he even did the craft today, a watercolour of flowers. how nice.

i went out to dave and chucks place today so dave could get instructed on giving me my shot for thursday. he actually did it today and did a great job. thanks for the instruction mom, thanks for the shot dave. (you missed your calling in life.... nurse dave)

the weather was so mild and nice today, i just had to comment. i can't wait till spring and then those long beautiful evenings of summer.

i am including 2 shots from that campaign cj is doing for COX. these are the low res, and not approved yet, but are fun to look at never the less.

starting it up

so, i had my first bloodwork/ultrasound visit today, and it all looked good. i am waiting to here back from the clinic, but they thought for sure i would start my injections today. the lady doing the bloodwork sucked. she might as well have stabbed me, i wish they could import one of the asian ladies from the lab 2 floors down to do it, it is like they use some far east technique and you don't even know they did it... can i get a witness?